Today we are featuring Inklings Book Contest 2020 finalist, Heidi Braun! Heidi finished 6th grade this past school year. The story she submitted is called “Cinderella’s Crime.”  Our judges said, “…mysteries can be difficult to get right, but [Heidi’s] attention to detail and inclusion of all the necessary elements of a mystery led to a strong, satisfying reveal.” 

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CINDERELLA’S CRIME
by Heidi Braun

 

Prologue

It was a normal, not very exciting day for Chloe Wilson. She had golden hair that was always tied up in a bun, pink lips, and a pair of sparkling sky blue eyes.
She loved fairy tales and was in her treehouse library reading the book Cinderella. As she turned the page she gasped because right where Prince James was supposed to propose to Cinderella, he instead accused her of theft and had her thrown in prison! Chloe knew something was wrong. She looked both ways to make sure she was alone and pressed her palm against the book. In a flash of light, she was in the book to clear Cinderella’s name. She didn’t know what she would encounter but she knew she would do her best to help, because that is what Chloe does– fix fairy tale trauma.

Chapter 1

The dungeon cell was a dark, damp place.
The beautiful Cinderella Dixen sat crying in the corner. She was covered in grime and you could just barely see her brunette hair, sparkling emerald green eyes, rosy cheeks, scarlet red lips, and flawless complexion. What did Cinderella do? She had never taken anything in her life! As the sound of footsteps approached her cell she stood up and wiped away her tears.

“Ms. Cinderella?” the man asked
“Yes, that’s me,” Cinderella said. Her voice was like an angel’s.
“You have been charged with the theft of the king’s prized scepter.”
“I’m telling you I didn’t take it!”
Then why was it found on top of your bed?”
“I don’t know!” She shouted.
“Someone must have framed me!”

The guard turned around and left her alone in her cell. Cinderella was about to go back to crying when she saw a bright flash of light. A girl stepped out of it and asked, “Excuse me Miss, are you Cinderella?”

 

Chapter 2

“Yes. What do you want?”
“Oh, thank goodness you’re okay! My name is Chloe Wilson. I’m a detective!”
“Really? What good news! I have been framed and could use a detective’s help!”
“I know you could,” Chloe said under her breath.
“Tell me everything about the day you were thrown in prison.” She took out her notepad and made notes.
“Well it started like most days, I served breakfast and then we heard the announcement that Prince James was going to marry whoever the slipper fit. My stepmother and stepsisters, Carroll and Eleanor Surman, ran upstairs after telling me to sweep the floors.”
Chloe stopped Cinderella and added on her suspect list: Stepmother, Carroll, Eleanor.
“Please continue,”
“I was sweeping the floor when I heard a loud CLUNK followed by a lot of hurried feet. A little while later the Surmans rushed down and sighed. When I had finished sweeping I started to go to my room, then my sisters stopped me and had me make some tea for Prince James. When he came and saw that the slipper fit me, he accused me of theft and had his assistant, John, run upstairs to my room and find the scepter. He smiled slyly and ran up and came back a moment later with it saying it was on top of my bed.”

Chloe remembered the story and remembered that John was Prince James‘s assistant and added John to her suspect list.

“Go on.”
“That’s it, they had me thrown in prison and here I am.”
“Thank you, I must go now.”
“Of course, please find whoever framed me!”
Chloe exited the prison. “First stop, the Surman Mansion!”

 

Chapter 3

After several stops to ask for directions, Chloe finally made it to the Surman Mansion. It was not anything like the stories. It was tall and gray. Every windowsill was coated in a thick layer of dust. The windows themselves looked like they once were beautifully stained glass but were now worn down, broken, and covered in webs and the paint was worn and faded. She knocked on the door and it was answered by a chubby young woman with orange hair and way too much makeup. She wore a beautiful purple dress with flowers on it and very large size 15 wide women’s shoes.
“Who are you and how can I help you?” said the girl with a gritty voice.
“I’m Detective Chloe Wilson, at your service.”

Chloe bowed low and the girl grunted and looked like she couldn’t care less.

“I’m here to investigate the theft?”
“Ah yes, well I can assure you Cinderella is behind bars and there is nothing to worry about.”
“Well, can I look anyway?”
“Sure I don’t see any harm in that and I don’t care anyway. I’m Eleanor Surman.”

She opened the door and let Chloe in. The inside of the house looked just like the outside no explanation needed. After Eleanor introduced her to Carroll and Stepmother, she asked if she could see Cinderella’s room. She went up and looked under her bed and gasped at what she saw…

 

Chapter 4

Under the bed were a big black bag and a pair of black gloves. Maybe she had stolen the scepter.

“This could be important,” Chloe said as she stuck them in her bag. She just needed more clues before she could prove that Cinderella was innocent. Just when she was about to give up because she couldn’t find anything else, she saw something shine in the small shaft of sunlight from the window. She crawled over to see what it was and saw a beautiful diamond ring. On examining the ring she saw initials on the bottom. It read: “J. L. & C. D.”

The initials were in a heart and it was possibly an engagement or wedding ring. Maybe a pair of people framed Cinderella and dropped it when putting the scepter on her bed. She just needed to talk with the suspects and see who the ring belongs to. Then she could save Cinderella. Just then she heard drums and opened the window to hear better. It was one of the king’s men shouting across town, “On the 21st of May the thief Cinderella will be executed!”

Things just got a lot more heated. The 21st was in five days…

 

Chapter 5

Chloe knew she had to go quickly and find out who framed Cinderella or she would die. The Surman family ushered her out of the house because they had business to attend to but they said she could keep what she found. They didn’t care at all. Before walking to the palace to talk to Cinderella she added to her list of evidence: gloves, bag, diamond ring, and put them in her backpack. Chloe ran to the dungeon to tell Cinderella the good and bad news. When she got there she saw Cinderella had a feeling of hope in her eyes. Chloe told her about the evidence she had found in her room. When Chloe asked her about John, she became all fidgety and only told Chloe he lived in the palace. Cinderella was keeping something from her, but Chloe decided to not press matters and instead told her about her execution, said she was sorry for the bad news and left for the palace. She walked out of the dungeon to find John. She asked a laundry maid where John was and she said; “Sir John is in the courtyard practicing fencing, as usual.” she replied.

After thanking her, Chloe ran to the courtyard to have a word with Sir John. He had a brown goatee and brown hair. He was very charming. When she got there she asked him if he would answer some questions about the day Cinderella was arrested. He immediately dropped his sword, fell to his knees, and kissed her hand saying, “Your wish is my command, m’lady.”

He gave Chloe a seat in his private quarters. She pulled the ring out of her bag and asked him if he knew who the ring belonged to. “What a beautiful ring! Alas, I have not seen it before, same with the bag and gloves.” She asked him if there was anyone else with him and the Prince James at the Surman Mansion. He said Prince James and him were alone. After John asked her out on a date, Chloe decided it was time to find an inn. After checking in and getting in bed, she decided that tomorrow she would talk to the Surman family and hopefully this time they wouldn’t be “busy”.

 

Chapter 6

The next day, Chloe walked back to the Surman Mansion. She thought over her talk with John and wondered what she would do next. There were only a few more days until Cinderella’s execution! Once she got to the Surman Mansion, she let them take a closer look at the evidence, asked about the ring and asked some questions about the day Cinderella was arrested. All of them gave the same answers as John. Which meant that Chloe was at a roadblock. Not knowing what else to do she walked to the inn. Then she remembered something that might help but first, she wanted to see the scepter. She went back to the palace and demanded to see the scepter. After a lot of arguing with the guard, Sir John walked down the hall and offered some assistance. Finally she was allowed to see the scepter. The scepter was solid gold with rubies and emeralds for decoration. It would make sense that if Cinderella stole it, then she would have been seen with black gloves on because there were no fingerprints. So she asked Sir John who saw Cinderella take the scepter and he said to go to 4569 Woker Drive, and ask for Ms. Jenny Lawther. Leaving the palace she went toward Woker Drive. How interesting, she thought,
Her initials are J. L.

 

Chapter 7

Chloe had to go quickly if she wanted to save Cinderella. When she got to Woker drive she found 4549 pretty easily and knocked on the door asking for Ms. Jenny Lawther. A woman answered the door holding a newborn baby. She was a beautiful maiden with dark brown hair, rose red lips, soft green eyes, and pink cheeks. She answered in a soft voice that sounded trusting.

“I am Ms. Lawther. How can I help you?”

She looks like a mother, Chloe thought. How could she be the culprit?

“Hello I’m detective Chloe, and I was told, you saw Cinderella take the King’s scepter.”
“Err, not really, come in and sit down.”

She let her inside and had her sit down on her couch.

“I saw her walk into the King’s chambers and come back out with a bag.”
“What color was the bag?”
“I think the bag was gold.”
“Do you remember if she was wearing gloves?”
“Umm, no. I don’t think she was.”
“Thank you for this information,”
“So, you must be that girl that John was telling me about. You’re trying to find out if Cinderella’s guilty or not. I got to say I wouldn’t have expected Cinderella of all people to take it,” Jenny said, shaking her head.
“Me neither.”

They heard a crash coming from her kitchen and Jenny stood up.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry I have to go check on the young ones. Goodbye!”
“Goodbye!”

Chloe walked to the Inn. She needed to talk to Cinderella but it was almost night, and she was tired. Suddenly she felt as if she was being watched. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a dark figure trailing her. She couldn’t see his face, because he was wearing all black with a black hood and he was fat and muscular. Chloe put on her hoodie and picked up the pace. So did the figure. Chloe broke into a run she needed to get to the dungeons, now.

 

Chapter 8

Cinderella sat in the dungeons looking as depressed ever. Her execution was in a couple of days! She heard footsteps and the slam of a heavy door closing. A dark figure ran into the dungeon. She had a dark hoodie on but you could still see her golden hair peeking out and in the dark dungeon, it seemed to glow.

Standing up, the curious Cinderella asked “Who’s there?”
“Cinderella? Sorry, I’m being followed.”
“Chloe! I am so glad to see you!” she said rushing to the bars of her cell to see her friend.
“Me too. I need to ask you some questions about the ball.”

Chloe explained everything she had been told and Cinderella confirmed that all of it was true.

“Then what was in the bag that you were seen carrying?”
“Sir John Lockheart was my friend. The night of the ball he proposed to me, but I only thought of him as a friend. When I stood up the prince asked me to dance. He got angry and stormed off. Before I left the ball, he said he was sorry for getting mad and he got me a present but left it in the king’s chambers by accident and told me it was by the door in a golden bag. It was a diamond necklace, and when I came out I saw a maid staring at me so I ran and… Oh my! Do you think it was John?”

Something was bugging Chloe like she had overlooked something. She thought back to her interview with John. Then she remembered something important.

“Yes, yes I do.”

 

Chapter 9

The next day in the courtroom (the day before the execution) Sir John was put on trial for theft and framing. Chloe explained what she learned, called witnesses, and presented her evidence.

“I had overlooked this, but I remembered it just in time. I had put everything in my backpack and only showed John the ring but he knew about the bag and gloves too. Why? Because he left them there. Furthermore, Sir John, is this your ring?” asked Chloe

“Yes.” The guilty John replied. “It is the ring I proposed to Cinderella with.”

He was the best friend she could ask for, but she just thought of him as a friend.

“The jury finds John guilty and sentenced him to death.” The Judge said.
“No!”

Everyone was surprised to see that Cinderella was standing up.

“No,” she repeated
“Your honor, I object and I plead with you don’t kill him. Please!”
“Are you sure about this Cinderella?” Chloe asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay then by order of the court you will be sentenced to jail for life. The court has spoken.”

The judge banged his gavel and guards walked forward to put John in a cell. He looked at Cinderella.

“I’m sorry.” was all John said before he was taken away.

Then the king and Prince James apologized for accusing Cinderella and Prince James proposed to her on the spot. She accepted with a smile. She had an enchanted night with him at the ball and something about him made her feel like she knew him all along. After saying goodbye to her new friends, Chloe left the book. In a flash of light, Chloe was back home. She closed the book and put it on the shelf. Then she looked at her clock. It was 5:30 an hour and a half after she left.

“Chloe, honey! Time for dinner!”
“Coming Mom!”

She climbed down the ladder to her treehouse and ran to her house.

The
End